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« Author Interview: Elizabeth Zelvin | Main | Nuclear Wildlife »

10/14/2009

I've Lost My Mind

I believe over the last ten days, I have begun a rapid decline into senility. Let me tell you why. Somewhere around ten days ago, I lost my iPhone. I don't mean I misplaced it. I lost it. Gone. Dead. I had to purchase a new phone. That was somewhat unsettling, because until that time, the closest I'd ever come to losing a cell phone was if I left it in the other room of the house when I went in to watch the ball game. I survived and now I have a nice shiny new phone.

Almost a week went by, and on a sunny, humid, storm clouds building afternoon, I took my Kindle and myself out to lunch. It was good. Good food, good book, a waitress that didn't interrupt every two minutes to ask if I was doing alright. I left her a nice tip and pointed my car homeward. The sunny skies were dark and rain drops were just starting to splatter the ground when I ran inside. I complimented myself on my excellent timing and reached in my purse for my phone. It was gone. My shiny new cell phone was gone. I ran out into the rain and searched my car. No phone. I drove back to the restaurant and the sweet little waitress came running up with my phone in her hand. I left my brand new phone at the the pizza joint. I got back in my car, drove home in a crashing thunderstorm and got thoroughly soaked because I left my phone at restaurant. I gave myself a mental head slap and moved on.

Two days later I treated myself to a manicure and a pedicure. I read my Kindle while my legs and feet were massaged. Seriously, almost better than sex. I mean really. I paid my money and left the salon in a fog of relaxation and happiness. I hopped in my car and drove fifty miles, stopped for lunch, reached in my bag for my Kindle and realized I had left it at the salon. Are You Kidding Me? I left my Kindle AT THE SALON FIFTY MILES AWAY. So, I called the salon, gobbled my lunch, because I couldn't enjoy it, my poor Kindle had been abandoned 50 miles away and was all alone and sad, or maybe it was me that felt all alone and sad. I picked up my Kindle and drove the fifty miles back to where I started, found a motel for the next couple of days and settled in.

The next afternoon, I ran to Wal-Mart. Just needed to pick up a few things. I didn't even take my purse just grabbed my wallet and my phone and headed out. I left my phone in the car and ran into the story to do my quick shopping. I grabbed my things, one of them being a bag of ice, and trotted out to my car ready to go home, make a drink, settle back with my little electronic book and listen to the storm that was about to hit, rage while I was snuggled up inside. When I got to my car, I didn't have any keys. I checked the ignition. No Keys. I checked the passenger seat. I've been known to drop them there on occasion. I haven't ever locked them in my car, but, hey, there's always a first time. No Keys on the seat. I rechecked my pockets. Nope. I went back into the store and checked at the service desk to see if anyone had turned in a set of keys. No Keys. I left my cart at the front of the store and made a circuit of everywhere I had wondered while I shopped. No Keys. As I made my way back to the front of the store, I accosted a young man and asked to borrow his phone to call roadside assistance. He was an angel, and he let me use his phone and wouldn't even let me pay him. Roadside assistance assured me they would be there in 45 minutes or so. I got my cart and rolled it outside. Wal-Mart, at least the one I was in, didn't have any handy waiting benches inside or out, and no room for me with my cart and melting bag of ice to wait and still be able to see the locked out of my car rescue guys when they arrived. So, I waited. Outside. In the Rain. While my ice melted.

There is a happy ending to the key story. Some good samaritan found my keys and took them to lost and found, so I got them back the next day. The rescue guy was there in less then 30 minutes. He is a hero. My spare key happened to actually be in my car, so I could drive home. I wasn't stranded. So all is well, except for the fact that in the last ten days or so, I've lost or left almost everything of value that I own. So even though All of my toys are replaced or returned, I still haven't managed to find my mind.

If you see it out and about anywhere, would you send it home? I miss it. You'll be able to recognize it. It'll be the one wandering around aimlessly somewhere looking for it's car keys.

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