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I Wish I Was Cool

Last summer I broke my foot. Okay, I broke my fourth toe. But since a toe is a part of the foot, I choose to say I have a broken foot. People laugh at you if you have a broken toe. Of course people laugh at me regardless of what my injury is. 

Why you ask?

Well, because I'm not cool. I've never been cool. I will never be cool, and, I've never had a cool injury.I've never crashed my bicycle, fell off my skateboard, or cartwheeled down a mountain while skiing. Okay, I've actually done all of those things, but they've never resulted in an injury. I only get hurt while doing uncool things. Here's an example. I broke my arm when I was eight. How you ask? Okay, you didn't, but I'm gonna tell you anyway, cause it's my blog and I can do that. So, back to the story, my eight year old broken arm. That doesn't really sound right, but you know what I mean, right? Good. I'll continue.

Our school janitor used to tease those of us who worked in the cafeteria. (Yeah, I know, no one cool ever worked in the cafeteria to get free lunch. Just kind of reinforces the whole story really.) Anyway, on to the janitor, a sweet old guy, okay maybe he wasn't old, I was eight, he seemed ancient. He used to threaten to drop us into the trash can. He'd act like he was going to chase us, we'd squeal and run, he'd go back to mopping the floors.  He chased, I ran, he mopped, I tripped on my gigantic pant legs, fell, and broke my arm. It was the '70s, pant legs were gigantic. They really should have put warning labels on those pants.

When I was fifteen I was practicing for cheerleader tryouts and broke my arm doing a one handed cartwheel. I should have known better. I wasn't cool enough to be a cheerleader. I could have saved myself eight weeks in a cast if I'd just faced the inevitable and joined the debate team. 

Three years ago, I tripped over my own feet, fell onto a concrete floor and damaged my shoulder so badly that I'm still suffering with it. My latest accident...last summer, I kicked the couch as I was walking through my living room and broke my toe, foot. Yeah, my foot. 

What have I learned from my life experiences??? I'm just not cool.


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I broke my big toe....urrrr, foot!....hauling wood when i was 11....i too, am uncool.

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